It all started end of year 1999.
While typing on the keyboard,
my fingers started to feel numb.
This went on for a few days,
and I went to see doctors.
The orthopedic said
I have Cervical Spondylosis.
Well, I didn't quite understand him,
except that spines around the neck
are deformed and pressing on my nerves.

A few weeks later,
part of my head started feeling numb as well.
I was sent to the neurologist.
After all the tests,
I was told I was normal.

This went on for a while.
I started feeling very tired easily
and I had problem waking up.
I couldn't even wake up on time
for a 3pm work shift.
Or I could wake up feeling awake,
and started feeling so tired after the first meal.

Headaches and numbness
became my best friend.
Some doctors even suggest
I had psychiatric problem.
Or I was just trying to get
medical certification to miss work.

By mid of year 2000,
I couldn't carry on working anymore.
I have used up my medical leave
for the entire year.
And I felt it wasn’t fair
for the company that hired me.

I felt totally hopeless then.
No one could tell me what went wrong.
And things didn't get better after
I left my job.
And no one could understand me.
Some thought I was just being lazy.
Some thought I was just being spoilt.
And no one could understand
how frustrated I was.