I used to think and believe
people who are older are
smarter and should know more.
Shouldn't they be?
They should have more experiences than I did.
They should have seen more than I did.

I came to realized
it’s not all so true after all.
They might have more experiences than I do.
They might have seen more than I do.
But that doesn't mean that they are smarter
or have better solutions.

As I grow older,
I came to realized
being smart and being wise
are two separate things.
You might be smart,
but doesn't mean that
makes you wise.
Or vice versa.

I have met a lot of people
who have been through a lot in life
but not wise enough to learn
anything out from it.
They thought just because
they have been through life
they know it all.
But the fact is,
they keep going in circle,
not understanding why.

I have met people younger,
who are so amazingly wise,
said profound things about life.
I have met people older,
who makes you listen to them,
just because they are older,
said superficial things about life.

So, my understanding of age is that,
age is just but a number.
And it could be totally meaningless.
It is basically just a number
that says how many years
you have been living on earth.
It does not mean that as the number grows,
you become smarter or wiser.

I was reading a book
on how to win your partner back.

It doesn't give you A to Z instructions
on what you should or shouldn't do.
Because everyone is different.
What works on you,
might not work for another.

A relationship is like a house.
If the foundation of the house is not strong,
the house will collapse in a matter of time.
You and your partner are
like the main structures of the house.
And your relationship with your partner
is built on these structures.

Imagine the main structures of the house
are not strong or stable.
Imagine there are big cracks
all over the main structures.
Imagine one structure is not strong or stable,
and dependent on the other.
Can you build a strong house?

How to have strong and stable structure,
and not over reliant on the other?
That’s to work on self.
Meaning, self worth and self love.
Meaning, know who you are.
Meaning, know what you want.

When you rely on your partner
to make you feel worthy,
When you rely on your partner
to make you feel love,
your partner will be drained one day
and the relationship will collapse,
just like the house.

When both of you have self worth,
when both of you have self love,
you have a strong foundation
for the relationship to be to built on,
just like the house.

In every good relationship,
the partners should help each other to grow,
and not pull each other down.
It should be two strong structures
whereby the house is build upon.
It shouldn’t be a structure
that’s not strong and stable
and using the other
to build the house upon.
Or worse still,
both structures are not strong
and a house is build upon.

We often tell our loved ones,
we love them.
But how often do we tell ourselves,
we love ourselves?

Is loving ourselves a form of narcissism?
And to be shunned from?
Or are we too busy looking for love from others?
Love to fill the void we feel?
Or are we too afraid to look within ourselves?
Afraid to find what we may not like?

How much we love ourselves,
depends on how worthy we feel of ourselves.
How worthy we feel of ourselves,
depends on our past experiences.
These experiences can leave us hungry for love,
yet not feeling worthy or deserving of it
and incapable of accepting it.

Many of us don't feel good
unless in a relationship,
so that we can say we are loved thus loveable.
But this could mean needing a relationship too much
that we will endure anything
to stay in the relationship.

When we don't love ourselves,
there are other traps in life that we can fall into.
Some of us go for drugs and alcohol.
Some of us go for loose sex.
Some of us go for shopping therapy.
These are temporary external fixes
to an internal problem.
These distract us from facing ourselves
and working on healing past hurts
that contribute to our low self worth.

So why can’t we love ourselves?
To feel loved from within?
To feel good from within?
Is it because we don’t feel worthy?
Why can’t we apply the gifts of love,
that we so often readily extend to others,
to ourselves?
What about acceptance?
What about kindness?
What about respect?
What about patience?
What about recognition?
What about acknowledgement?
Can we love ourselves the way

we want to love others?

KNOW YOUR HEART

We need to love ourselves

Learn to know our heart

To come home to ourselves

When mind and soul

Have been apart

We need to trust ourselves

Learn to accept and forgive

No stranger to our heart

For only then can

We really live!

MERLE HULL

------2002------

COPYRIGHT RESERVED

Self worth is not based on how much money you make,
neither is it’s based on how big a house you are staying in,
nor how many designers’ stuff you are carrying.
It is neither based on your position in a company,
nor how well you score academically,
nor what you have achieved academically.

Self worth has to be intrinsic.
How you view yourself and
not how others view you.
Self worth is about knowing who you really are.
Your value as a person.
Your purpose in life.
Your place in the world.
Your strength and weaknesses.
Your independence and ability to stand on your own feet.

When you have high self-worth,
you tend to be confident,
you tend to be happy,
you tend to be motivated,
you tend to be sure.
you are less fearful of failure,
you are able to overcome obstacles and setbacks.
It is the foundation of your ability to believe in yourself.
It is about you.
It is not what others approve of you.

When you have low self worth,
you tend to be lack of confident,
you tend to give rise to depression,
you tend to be unsatisfied,
you tend to be insecure,
you are more fearful of failure,
you are more likely to stumble at every seemingly impossible challenge.
There is no foundation of your ability to believe in yourself.
It is not about you.
It is more of doing what others approve of you.

Having good self worth means that
you know yourself enough
to not need the approval of others.
You don't need to be rich to get recognition.
You don't need to carry Gucci bags to feel good.
You don't need to be thin to feel beautiful.
You just feel good for who you are
that you don't need to stay in a private estate,
so that you can say you can afford it so you are rich.
It doesn't matter.
How much worth in assets you have
doesn't determine your value.
It's how much worth in your self
that determines.
When you stay in a private estate in order to feel rich,
it could mean that you are needing it too much,
that you will do anything to stay in it,
because without it,
you feel that you are poor
and others will look down on you.

It is always good to receive approval and recognition from others,
but not dependent on it.
You have to feel good and feel whole as individual.
With good self worth,
you have a realistic appraisal of your capacities,
you have deserved respect from others.

Are you a creator or a victim in your life?
According to law of attraction,
which is part of quantum physics,
you are a creator of your life.
You create your past.
You create your now.
You create your future.

It’s easier to see yourself as a victim.
It’s easier to whine about how you are not being treated fairly.
It’s easier to get people’s attention when you are a victim.
You can repeat your story over and over again,
and convince yourself that you are a victim,
and you are a victim.

But are you really a victim?
You are a creator of your life.
If you see yourself as a victim,
You have created it to be that way.
Let’s put it this way,
If you keep thinking your partner will betray you,
your partner will betray you.
You have attracted that to happen.
How?
Law of attraction.

According to law of attraction,
Your intentions make things happen.
Your thoughts make things happen.
Your words make things happen.
You vibrate all these and make things happen.

So, think again,
Are you a creator or victim?
What kind of life do you want?
You can change your past,
You can change your now,
Let alone say,
your FUTURE.